Funny Football Quotes: A Strange Choice Of Words

Silly football quotes.

'The Funny Side Of Football' was recently released for kindle, and it collects a variety of amusing quotes from footballers, managers and pundits.

Here are a few quotes from the chapter 'A Strange Choice Of Words (Part 1)' which show that footballers and pundits apparently use a different dictionary from the rest of us...

1) “When David Beckham leaves the game, it will take a very special player to come in and carry the mantelpiece.”
…Sophie Nicolau

2) “I was inbred into the game by my father.”
…David Pleat

3) “That was never a penalty in a million planets.”
…Alan McInally

4) “Fulham are growing in confidence now and will believe that they can impregnate this Spurs defence.”
…Robbie Earle


A 'contagious' decision.

5) “I was born and bred in Coventry.  I played for the club as well, so that’s where my liaisons lie.”
…Bobby Gould

6) “These two clubs had a monopoly of the domestic honours last season.”
…Tony Gubba

7) “Welbeck, Rooney and Van Persie can be a phenomical strike force.”
…Keith Curle

8) “The gelling period has started to knit.”
…Ray Wilkins

9) “A highly contagious decision.”
…Neil Mellor

10) “Neither side creating many chances. It’s like a war of nutrition in midfield.”
…Martin Keown

11) “The world is my lobster.”
…Keith O'Neill

For the benefit of Peter Jones, this is what zebras actually look like.

12) “That kind of ball is meat and two drink for the Palace defence.”
…Denis Irwin

13) “They gave the Serbian FA a poultry fine.”
…Alan Brazil

14) “Roberto Mancini’s got that Italian style, the old joie de vivre.”
…Perry Groves

15) “Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.”
…Peter Jones

. . . . . . . .

You can find hundreds of silly football quotes, as well as a selection of light-hearted chapters on a variety of football themed subjects, in the book 'The Funny Side Of Football' available for kindle from Amazon.

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Credit: Virus and zebra photos provided by pixaday.com. Check them out for royalty free photos.