Pardew For England

+ Financial Ambitions and Freedom Of Speech.

Pardew For England. #AprilFools

1) Pardew For England

Back at the beginning of October, Crystal Palace were sitting fourth in the league (ahead of Leicester City on goal difference) and Alan Pardew, getting a bit carried away with his own ego, was talking up his England manager ambitions.

Fast forward six months and after picking up 3 points from 12 league games (3 draws and 9 defeats), Crystal Palace finally achieved their first league victory of 2016.  Not surprisingly, Ian Wright and all the other members of the Alan Pardew Appreciation Society were strangely quiet during this run of form, but you can rest assured that they'll no doubt be out once again in force singing Pardew's praises the next time Pardew achieves his traditional tri-seasonal five match unbeaten run. #PardewForEngland #irony

The football week in tweets (12/04/2016)

1) Leicester beat Sunderland two nil and qualify for next season's Champions League

Approximate heatmap of N'golo Kante's coverage so far this game #LCFC #bbcfootball pic.twitter.com/TTC1T3OgPs

— JT (@TweetsByJT) April 10, 2016

Newcastle fans in rare agreement with Mike Ashley

+ Claudio Ranieri, the international break, and Jonas Gutierrez.

1) Toon fans agree with Mike Ashley for once

"We wish he'd never bought Newcastle."

It's not often I agree with Mike Ashley, but in his rare interview earlier this week, he made the comment...

"I wish I'd never bought Newcastle."

...and I'm sure thousands of Newcastle fans responded by vigorously nodding their heads in agreement.  However, the rest of Ashley's interview earlier this week, was back to his usual deluded rubbish.

He claimed Newcastle had had 'a proper go at it this season,' and added...

"I think everyone can agree with that."

No, Mike.  Nobody agrees with that.  If they're honest #whichtheyrenot, even the talentless 'Yes Men' you surround yourself wouldn't agree with that, although they wouldn't tell you that to your face.

How have Newcastle had a proper go at it exactly?  Compare Newcastle's squad with other Premiership squads.  You seriously think Newcastle are good enough to have a 'proper go', Mike? #deluded #helivesinafantasyworld  And looking beyond the squad, the bigger problem is the culture at the club which is the absolute blueprint on how not to run a football club.

Selective eyesight...

...resting players, novelty bets, and lowly ambitions.

1) "I didn't see it."

Football fans model football strips suitable for Benteke and Bolasie.

After Liverpool were awarded a last minute penalty against Crystal Palace last week, Alan Pardew was very vocal in his criticism of Christian Benteke for going doing extremely easily under minimal contact.

"That touch doesn’t warrant the dive he makes," Pardew complained.  "It’s a worrying issue in the game.  If that touch warrants a collapse like that, then wow, we really need to say, ‘Come on!’”

So after his own player Yannick Bolasie won a penalty by going down very easily in the box against Reading after Jake Cooper's hand lightly brushed his chest, was Alan Pardew just as critical about this 'worrying issue in the game'?  Unsurprisingly, Pardew instead avoided the issue by joking, "I don’t really think you should ask me because, obviously I ain’t got a clue about penalties after last weekend." #hypocrite #selectiveeyesight #dodgedlikeapolitician

It's not just penalties you don't have a clue about, Alan.  You don't have a clue about integrity either. #doublestandards